2 o o 9

Figured that this will be the last year we'd see those two zero's together..

The Man in the Arena

"IT IS NOT THE CRITIC WHO COUNTS;
NOT THE MAN WHO POINTS OUT
HOW THE STRONG MAN STUMBLED,
OR WHERE THE DOER OF DEEDS
COULD HAVE DONE BETTER.

THE CREDIT BELONGS TO THE MAN
WHO IS ACTUALLY IN THE ARENA;

WHOSE FACE IS MARRED
BY DUST AND SWEAT AND BLOOD;
WHO STRIVES VALIANTLY;
WHO ERRS AND COMES SHORT
AGAIN AND AGAIN;

WHO KNOWS THE GREAT ENTHUSIASMS,
THE GREAT DEVOTIONS,
AND SPENDS HIMSELF IN A WORTHY CAUSE;

WHO AT BEST KNOWS IN THE END
THE TRIUMPH OF HIGH ACHIEVEMENT;
AND WHO AT THE WORST

IF HE FAILS,
AT LEAST FAILS WHILE DARING GREATLY;
SO THAT HIS PLACE SHALL NEVER BE
WITH THOSE COLD AND TIMID SOULS
WHO KNOW NEITHER VICTORY NOR DEFEAT."

-Theodore Roosevelt.
As presented in the book 'You are the Message' by Roger Ailes. Found this book yesterday in Strand Book Festival. Came as an inspiring surprise as just day before yesterday, had done some soul-searching on similar lines..

Me too book tag

I liked what i saw on Anna's blog. Here is my part of the game.

About this game: RULE 1 - I have to grab one of the books closest to me, go to page 56, type the fifth line and the next two to five lines that follow.
(sorry Anna, i only liked RULE 1, so just like calvinball, playing the game only by this rule. :) )

First, a brainstorm is not a regular meeting. It's not something you take notes at. You don't take turns speaking in any orderly way. It shouldn't consume a morning or an afternoon. Sixty minutes seems to be the optimum length, in our experience..

From 'The Art of Innovation' by Tom Kelley (i am sitting in the home-office, did not find anything more colorful.. :) )

Dear Lalu bhaiya

Just back from a Kolkata trip.. Took the Yashwantpur-Howrah express both way, and am in a mad rush to jot down the trip memories..

We had reserved the side berths (upper and lower) of sleeper class both way so that the cosy little family of ours can have whatever privacy a sleeper class can afford us. So we board our coach from the KR Puram station and to our shock, our seat numbers are stuck over lower and middle berths.. NOT side berths.. Obviously, my first reaction was one of fury on the eguy that he did not book the tickets right and now we have to stick with 36 hours of sharing living space with strangers, who'd find the little boy the obvious solution to the journey's boring moments, their interacting with him often involving physical closeness which, to a paranoid mom like me, means a definite infection..

Then I understood where the blame should rightly be placed. It's Lalu Bhaiya's handiwork! When we had booked the tickets, each sleeper coach had 72 seats (8 seats X 9 compartments), but when we boarded the train, Lalu's men had added one more seat to the side berths!! So now there were 81 seats, with one SIDE MIDDLE BERTH! Hence the reshuffle of the seat numbers.. The middle berth is well concealed, meant to be unfurled only in the night.. (damn me, didn't take any pictures..)

And o the pains of that side middle berth (i happened to sleep on it on the return journey) It is meant for dwarfs.. Even though I am not highly gifted in the vertical coordinates, I could not sit, no matter how i bent my body.. Now Lalu bhaiya you would ask, why do you need to sit deviji, middle berths are meant for sleeping.. Yeah, but you see bhaiya, moms of infants have to sit up a few times in the night trying to put their baby owl to sleep.. In the regular middle berth, it is possible to sit, if you keep your neck bent down, this side M berth, it is IMPOSSIBLE. So, in our case, we had to fold up that middle berth, move everything back on the lower berth, put the kiddo to sleep and then again move back to the middle berth. This, we did twice in a night..

Then came the part where I have to wash the kiddo's milk bottles et al at the sink in the narrow corridor which can hold 4 people standing comfortably.. I head over there with the bottles, dishwashing liquid, brush.. At the entrance of that corridor I am blocked by a crowd of 10 people. 2 are waiting for the bathroom, 2 are passengers without reservation, 2 are charging their cellphones (oh! didn't you know?! there are free electric outlets at the train corridors now) and 4 are waiting to get their cellphones charged.. So, against some resistance I reached the sink by displacing one passenger, who waited on the precarious vestibule joint.. Getting back from the sink was again a fight..

Lalu bhaiya, WHY the electric outlet? How many passengers really asked for it?! If high flying businessmen can be without making phone calls via their cellphones on long transnational trips, sleeper class passengers can not? I do admire the vision behind the idea and the technology that enables it, but the reality is that it is only serving the purpose of playing loud music and watching obscene movie clips on those cellphones.. (i am a witness of the latter happening in my neighboring compartment). Let people use their time to read books, chat up with their co-passengers, catch up on sleep, and let IRCTC save some electricity and use the money on killing some of those cockoraches in the coaches!

Now, if you really really want to help ppl make that extremely urgent call when their phone has lost charge, you can stock on battery run phone chargers. Rent it to people for money. Let them come to the pantry, pay and charge their phones there. Only people who really need it will pay for it.

Now, criticism apart, a few things that do deserve a honorable mention. The well-uniformed railway staff that came frequently to clean up the floors - until this journey i have only seen beggars doing that. The toilets were also cleaned well at every big station, and there was non-stop water supply throughout the trip. The frequent rounds of waterbottles and refreshments that the pantry maintained. Above all, maintaining an ON THE DOT train timing on both stretches.

So, to maintain the Shubh Yatra, Lalu Bhaiya, please keep up the good work and think a bit about your discerning passengers before impelementing half-baked ideas (to repeat - the side middle berth and the electric outlet)

Of conditional apologies & a prayer

Per media, Mr.A of Kerala has apologised with the statement "IF my statements have hurt the martyr's family, I apologise".
IF? First, you refused to apologize. Now, you are apologizing with an 'IF'? You, Mr.A are a disgrace to the nation, even in your apology.


On a separate note, Pakistan has allegedly 'snubbed' India by not cooperating with the terror list. I feel media keeps using insulting words 'slapped, snubbed' (so does one chocolate face politician), to get more viewership, capitalizing on the high emotion and anger running around.. But my sincere prayer is that, the decision makers in the Govt., don't react hasitly against Pakistan. USA is entirely on our side this time, let's make use of that. Paksitan may be waiting for us to do something hasty (wage a war?) and further harm our peace and order situation. The worst that can happen to a country in the middle of a economic slowdown, is a war. So, people at the top, ignore those words, and take your time strategizing.

few soundbytes from another ashamed Indian..

"We are ready for a meaningful intercourse with the terrorists" said Shivraj Patil after swearing in as the home minister..
So, Mr.Patil, India was waiting for you to arrive outside Taj hotel on Nov-26, holding a loudspeaker, requesting the terrorists (oops, your brothers) for a 'meaningful intercourse'.
India waited for 3 days, you never came! Oh! You must not have found the right suit to wear for the occasion..


"I will resign only after National Congress Party chief (Sonia Gandhi) asks me to" - Shivraj Patil after the Delhi blasts.
"I will resign only after National Congress Party chief (Sonia Gandhi) asks me to" - RR Patil (deputy CM, Maharashtra).
Both of the above gentlemen have resigned, but we have heard nothing from Mrs.Gandhi. Does she also not owe an apology to the nation, if only out of shame for mothering these men?


Today's news: "Indian Government has accepted help from FBI and Shin Bet (Israel's internal security group) for investigating the Mumbai attack. India had refused Israel's help when the attack was on. "
Dear Indian Government, I have a feeling we may have saved some lives if we had accepted the helping hand when the attack was on and we were running around like chicken with its head cut.. Perhaps now you can take some pictures of the well trained and adequately armed international forces and pin it up in your office with the caption "when i grow up, i want to be him.."

Palani trip & the lessons learnt

Last weekend we went on a trip to Palani - the hill top temple of Lord Murugan. It is at an elevation of 1500 feet above sea level (click here for more info), so I may not be doing justice to it by calling it a hill.

On saturday morning we took the train from Bangalore to Coimbatore, the little boy's first train trip.. It was a welcome break from the long drives we used to take.. (somehow after getting back from US we only made trips in our car, could be because of the unexpectedly improved highways in the south or because our confidence with long drives).
Within 5 minutes of the train starting, the boy got very fidgety and we mistook it as hunger.. within another 5 minutes of stuffing the milk bottle into his mouth he threw up all over self and the seat.. suddenly the journey started looking VERY long! thankfully, rest of it was relatively uneventful.. We reached coimabtore and halted there for saturday.
Sunday morn we hit the road to Palani. The drive was beautiful, with windmill dotted fields and laid-back little villages..The plan was to get the boy's head shaved (tonsured) at the Palani foothills (a tradition followed on his dad's side) and then climb the hill and pray to Lord Murugan. We were armed with new razor blades, dettol and toy to distract the boy during the procedure.

On reaching the Palani foothills, we halted in New Tirupur Lodge for a quick breakfast, eventually Dinesh Karthik the cricketer, was also eating his dosas there, that caused quite some excitement among the cric enthusiasts in our group.

Post breakfast we entered a courtyard where the head shaving is done. We bought our tickets and were pleasantly surprised when they gave us brand new razor blades (sealed in its packaging) so that we can make sure they are new and do our disinfection of the same. We duly sterlized them in dettol and handed it over to the barber. Next few minutes were a scream riot when the barber struggled and the boy gave a good reason for the struggle.. the toy we had taken - a little beetle toy car ('cos we found he was fascinated by toy cars) was of no use. the boy got some cuts on his head and before we could react, the barber put some grey cottony stuff on the cut which looked like webby dust that we find in long uncleaned corners.. that totally psyched me out.. bro ran to buy some cotton, did not find any and came back with bandage cloth..

Anyway, all hair shed from the little head and a warm water bath later, we took to the steps that lead to the hilltop. We were running after a very tight timeline and had to make the whole climb without any rest. There is a cable-car and a winch facility available but my faith in temple technology is very feeble.
The run up the hill bore fruit when we found that the temple door closed just after we got in (for the afternoon puja prep). So we had the typical rush rush darshanam where the pujaris literally push you forth so that you cannot get more than 2 seconds view of the garbhagriha.. From what I remember, the Idol looked powerful, standing in dark with only bright ghee lamps throwing that dramatic brightness only indian temples can create..

An interesting observation was that if your head is shaved and you are entering the temple, you have to produce the ticket that you bought for the head shaving, otherwise you are not allowed in. This is a way for the temple authority to regulate head shaving business down at the foothills - that explains the new razors offered to us.

The climb down the hill was in equal hurry as our next agenda was to drop the nephew to his hostel on the way back home..

Above: The 'mottai' boy, the nephew and the rest of us on a tonga - a tourist attraction in Palani.

Now what are my lessons learnt:

1. Carry some cotton! We took only the dettol thinking about the razor sterilzing, did not think about the cuts at all..

2. Take adequate rests while climbing up/down the hill. All of us ended up with a decent leg pain after getting back, i had to take a sick leave.

3. Take a toy that makes LOUD sound and has BRIGHT lights! Nothing else can distract a captive kid..

Onto twitter!

Just today I heard about Twitter.. I mean did hear about it before, but today I paid attention, and realized, man, this is exactly what I need.. Build my journal in a few words.. leave a sentence half said.. construct a clue to some of the very personal events that i cannot reveal to the wild www, but want to chronicle nevertheless..
So this is it, frequent twitting and occasional blogging (for those rather long winded thoughts)

today..

today is eguy's birthday..

today i was in the presence of one of my favorite speakers - leo apotheker..
someone asked him why is our product so complex, can we not make it easy..? his answer (abridged) "well.. business itself is complex.. our product has to cater to that business.. however, we have to ensure that our product is not complicated..we have to understand the difference between complex and complicated - an airbus 380 is complex, a dish of spaghetti is complicated"... wow, i love to listen to this man..

today apartment adda got launched - a simple product from a simple team.. let us see if it gets complex or complicated!

the victory..

i feel like the cinematic elation of 'the great debaters' has come to life..

eguy says chicago is celebrating and he wants to be there.. yes, i too for this one time, want to be there.. right now.. to be part of history..and see how the man moves his audience to tears... it would be like being part of an audience in the umpteen african american movies depicting their struggle that ended in triumph.. i wonder how the people on that stage feel like..

a sudden doubt - what if obama's mom were also from kenya... hmm..

aamar ..... bangla..

Was reading one of my older posts about my home state.. and wanted to write down something i wanted to scream out for long:

KEE KORLEN MOMOTA DI..KEE KORLEN BUDDHO DA..

The state had one chance to be the cradle of a revolutionary thought, and you unworthy statesmen most rudely refused that chance and passed it over to another state! All for making the other party lose face in the next elections?

Can you ever overcome this shame and guilt?!

scribbling down the highlights...

Today Chandrayaan was launched successfully...

Yesterday the logo was finalized..

Day before yesterday Sensex touched 9K

The day before that I worked on my first go-live..

The boy has started showing signs of understanding..

The garden finally has one flowering plant with fragrance (gandharaj)

I finally feel I know the value of money..

And like what I see in the mirror..

The Empress of Blandings

Yesterday I blew my fuse..

Got a mail at work that there's a women's group to be formed and nominations are invited for the core team.. I was ecstatic with the thought that FINALLY management recognizes the 'different' needs of women at the workplace, and aims to work towards them..

So, yesterday I was eagerly looking forward to the meeting, when I and the other dynamic women in my workplace join together towards making our organization a more women-friendly one.. It already has got many good policies, but not many of us even know about it! Now is the time, to know the good and amend the not-so-good! Hence, even though it was Friday and my work was over by 4:30, I did not rush home to take the little fella out on a stroller walk (something he yearns for..), and waited for the 5:00 meeting..

Well... there were 5 of us women, all with hope in their eyes.. The meeting organizer started: 'In this forum we shall not talk about any sensitive issues, let us not make this a crib-session.. and this forum is in no way recognized or sponsored by the management.. they will provide us space'..

TO DO WHAT?!!! KNIT SWEATERS?!

That was that.. I wonder why I did not walk out right then.. Why did i sit there and took all the horseshit and tried to reason (i did say it on the organizer's face that this is just an eyewash).. Some other colleagues spoke more cool-headedly, i guess due to benevolence towards the organizer as she seemed to be fresh out of the schoolbus.. They talked about the womens' forums in other organizations, where the forum is meant to discuss 'sensitive issues' and address the painpoints of women employees (of course!)

Apparently this whole idea of forming a women's forum was to follow up on an action point gathered from a women's day discussion (i was on maternity leave then..).. and seems like they just took an easy way out to check off this action-point - by organizing a group of women who'd help conduct yoga/dance/book reading sessions!!!!

Wake up mehearties in certain HR holes! The women who you wish to herd without a forethought or preparation, are accomplished no-nonsense consultants who have seen quite a bit of the planet..!!
And personally, I refuse to eat anything that you lay out as grub in front of me, and I refuse to say Oink-oink to you when you pat my back.. (I say that only to my little fella, cuz that's his favorite part in "old macdonald had a farm"...)

(NOW i feel better!)

Salaam e ishq...

This morning, sitting in the office shuttle, I was surprised out of my book - the RJ started playing Adnan Sami's 'silli silli tapti raton mein...dil kya kare..salaam e ishq'.. !
I looked out of the window, we were zooming down outer ring road.. the same patch of road that we travelled on 16th Jan..
The same road, the same song, but that day it was foggy and we had to speed cautiously.. it was 6AM with no traffic on the road.. I was on the backseat, counting the minutes of life between contractions.. did not speak a word throughout, except one complete sentence - "venkie, pls increase the volume on that song"...!

Today this song brought me that wave of nostalgia and it stayed on for quite some time.. :)

Kung Fu Panda and the MBA dream

I am so happy with the latest trend in disney/pixar/dreamworks animation - not just all-nice characters with a predictable storyline and a mushy happy ending with a moral-of-the-story, but a trigger to multiple thought processes too..

Last week I saw Kung Fu Panda, and it gave a bamboo for thought to my current state of mind..

A lot of us salaried folks, at some point of time, think about getting an MBA (of course, if we don't have it already).. We believe that it will give us a quantum leap - will either quadruple our current salary levels, or will teach us how to start our own business.. And that leap is just what we need, to become that 'dragon warrior' - a transformed me..

And most of this bunch of us think there is a 'secret ingredient' that the B-schools possess and only that ingredient is lacking in us which is preventing us from becoming the 'dragon warrior'!

Then we go through the chosen B-School and we come out after two years of concentrated training and our eyes opened to "that unwritten scroll that reflects our face" . Then we know that what the B-school really has, is no secret ingredient, but three practical ones:

1. Consistent discipline - The intensity of the training, the almost-military discipline you have to follow to do well..

2. Network - The school of our choice brings us closer to the network we seek - like-minded people who fuel each other..

3. Belief in self - After you have seen it all, you don't have this constant nagging anymore : maybe the other guy with an MBA knows more than me and can run a business better than me... Because now you know that "there is no secret ingredient!"


So, as a conclusion - "GO PO" !!!

...and a Ladybird!

Just while writing the previous post, a friend asked me to stop over at her desk.. i did, like a zombie, and she gave me a ladybird she had painted on a walnut shell..

:) An Omen that?!

Chocolate and Black Coffee

Right now my mind is an entangled web of many choices.. no, it is an intersection of many highways and alleys, and my direction sense is at its worst..

I keep telling myself, these may be the best of times.. when I want to break free from status-quo.. when I can be brave enough to concede that my belief that this staus-quo is just right for me, is only a desperate illusion.. when ms.daredevil in me throws ms.humility to the backseat and grabs the wheels.. (and all this time i thought ms.daredevil did not come back with me from the delivery room..)


Went to the cafeteria and got a kit-kat and black coffee.. Thankfully, there was nothing else to choose from! For the records, kit-kat is TOO sweet (yeah..that must be another INDIfication thing..just like someone told me that Coke and Pepsi are made sweeter in India..Bah..)

for the love of 'people'

Lately I came across two women.. one who had a disabled child and dedicated her life in helping that child lead a normal life.. being in a develop'ing' country like India that is a challenge - manifold.
The other has founded a not-for-profit organization in India, to help the blind feel included, and to make public areas more accessible to disables..

We, the blessed, look at not-for-profit organizations and say 'great, they are doing a good work'.. make a one time donation - with effort, or with money..and move on with life.. after all disabilities happen to 'other people'...

What happens if suddenly one day I get disabled - something like blindness.. the only way I can lead an independent life is to relocate to a developed country - USA..UK.. No matter how patriotic I am or how much I love the smells and sounds and feels of India - no life here.. I cannot go outside by myself, I have to leave my job, I cannot read the latest bestseller, I cannot read the morning newspaper..

But in small corners in India, there are bunches of unknown volunteers, taking time out of their busy life fraught with its own problems and dedicating this time to me - so that I can read using braille, and I can cross the road without waiting for someone to help me, and I can continue my employment with specially designed computers...

This thought makes me realize how truly thankful we should be to these enthusiastic, brave people who thought about the 'others' and did something too..

Well.. just discovered this organization called Esha , it is strange that i get to know of it now, while i've known its founder for more than a year now.. If I could define this noble work, Esha is an organization that works towards an Indian tomorrow, where disabled Indians don't have just two choices - live a life of dependence in India or relocate outside (of course, those who can afford).. where Indians visiting overseas don't feel 'wow' at seeing braille in elevators, movie theaters and all major corporate communications.. because in that tomorrow, we have it all in India too..

Fills me with joy, hope and gratitude..

Finally..

Last weekend, I read a book (The Alchemist).. In the past one year, this was my first serious read that was not related to pregnancy or hospitals or PIH or childbirth or breastfeeding or child rearing or working-moms..

Living the complete life..

Maybe it is..
Being 30 and not wishing I were 16 again..
Being 45 and not wishing I could watch animations with my kids again..
Being 60 and not wishing I can make a difference to my salaried job, if only they give me one more year..
Being 75 and knowing that I won't miss any worldly love, material or life..
Because I have lived it all and lived it well..

(I hope this blog lives until I am 75, just to check.. :) This was inspired in the office cafeteria, catching a glimpse of the latest animation movie release... in those 3 minutes i was first filled with a joyous thought ke how much fun it will be to watch these animations with baby-of-mine when he grows into a pre-schooler.. immediately followed by an apprehension ke how nostalgic it will be when he is a teenager and won't want to watch these with us any more.. then came the knowing smile that we would also grow old enough and wise enough to take all these in our stride.. :) )

Where is the Indian entrepreneur?

Have you seen the indian tv commercial for a pension plan, where a small boy wants to jump into a lake but his mom says no.. he grows up and wants to quit his job, then thinks of his pregnant wife and changes his mind.. then after retirement, he finally goes back to the lake and jumps..

I keep reading about articles encouraging Indians to create jobs.. i.e., turn entrepreneur and start a company and give jobs to others.. We have a substantial population with high academic qualification, that has great ideas, networks well, works very hard.. but almost always takes a salaried job rather than starting their own business..

Why are we so different from the western world where the percentage of entrepreneurs is way higher..?

There are three things I can think of:

1. Middle class background.. Most of the educated young generation today hail from the middle class.. a section of society that always played it safe - to earn in the most secure way possible and invest the earnings in the most risk-averse way.. This getsalary-growsavings strategy had done well - the children have got a foreign education and are doing great, there's a glamorous lifestyle now. At this juncture, deviating from this strategy and the thought of diving into entrepreneurship, and possibility of losing this newfound lifestyle is quite scary..

2. Illusion of dependants.. We as Indians are brought up to financially support our kith and kin.. The ageing parents, the suffering relative, the yet-to-be married sister, the school going kid.. We just feel incomplete if it is just ourselves that we have to support financially! So, when we are on a salaried job with steady income, we feel that we make ours as well as others' life secure.. If we turn entrepreneur now, and there is no income until we reach break-even, it is not just us that will take a modest lifestyle, but also those dependants.. hmm.. what will they say.. they'd think we're so selfish.. that we shirked our responsibilities..

3. End-result obsession.. Everything we do is no good if the outcome is not first rank!! Our kids are no good if they don't hold first rank! The occasional gold-stars they get just doesn't matter! No one thanks someone for just participating - only the winner is profusely adulated and idolized..
So.. while I am at my salaried job.. today i am a team lead, tomorrow i'd be a project lead, after that i'd be practice lead.. Cool! People call me a lead all the way!! Now, if i start my own business, people will just not call me anything until i become a Tata, or an Ambani.. hmm...


We , the generation X, have to go a looong way to break out of this mentality.. until then, let's keep reading about entrepreneurship... :)

The new soul..

Random thoughts the little one brings in me...

1. His bright gummy smile first thing in the morning.. reminds me how i always wake up happy but then remember the day's toils which takes my smile away!

2. The happy staring at the ceiling and giving an acknowledging smile to the just-switched-on fan...reminds me of my once held belief - we can really love any one, only if we try..

3. My eyes fill up with tears so easily these days.. suddenly i feel everyone's sorrow more closely.. suddenly i know what really it is to miss a child.. suddenly i know how my sis used to feel while crying with the sita of the sunday ramayana serial..

4. They say that babies are closer to God, I believe that.. Now I believe that God sure has a halo behind him - the little one loves to stare at any source of light. Also, now I know that God wears glasses! :)

Life changed.. again..

This year january changed our lives forever.. brought a tiny human being that still has me thinking.. truly..why do we have kids..? because we get bored with ourselves..? because we forget what innocence is?! because our family wants us to? because the biological clock is ticking? because we owe it to the survival of species.? because it gives legitimacy to our relationship? because it makes us feel important? because we want to see what the cocktail of me and my best friend looks like..?

perhaps i still don't know cos the tiny one hasn't really started communicating.. his curious eyes look at us with the same intensity as they look at the wall.. he smiles at us as sweetly as he does to his mobile.. it'd be a long while, or perhaps never, when he'd say "ma i love you" and mean it too..

it was dusk..

Three of us - myself and two others were trekking.. to reach the highest peak in the area.. the hills and rocks were rough.. but covered with greenery and moss..no snow.. i was at the front.. came to the edge of a rock..it was adjacent to the next one.. going to the next one will lead us to the peak.. my hand could reach the next rock but absurdly my leg could not.. i looked down.. my palms and feet started sweating.. the gap between the two rocks went down to a deep chasm.. i could not think of crossing that gap.. it was dusk and the chasm looked darker..

the three of us stayed on..did not take the leap.. found a river flowing just behind our rock.. we sat at the edge looking to the river and cried uncontrollably..

i woke up with sweat on my palms and feet..