Help me..

help me not forget

the many days of care and love

the uncomplaining incessant hardwork

that someone did only for me..

help me remember

the many times i have admired

the differences that

make the other unique and valuable..

help me not wish

that the other thought just like i think..

or liked the exact things i like..

or acted as perfect as i try to act..

or agreed with me on issues dear to me..

help me bring

all the days and moments together

so that i can see

the high mountain and deep valleys together

so that i can marvel the beautiful big picture

and feel blessed for being able

to see it..

above all..help me remember this blog when i can't find that picture..

3 decades..

By this month I have survived 3 decades on this planet.. So has the CPM government - in Writers' building..

All these years I have struggled, and still struggle with the fact that I am not proud of my home state.. kolkata..shibpur..saltlake.. all these places only evoke a sense of sorrow and pity in me.. Sorrow for the unemployed youth languishing on the sidewalks pretending to be intellectuals discussing the state politics... Pity for the government full of geriatric criminals that feels no guilt for making West Bengal rot away sticking only to its glorious past, like their own old bodies sticking on to the state throne for 30 long years..

The West Bengal of centuries back was way ahead of rest of India - it had elite culture and academics, true thought leaders, active workforce and an industry hub..

Today, when rest of India is zooming ahead, West Bengal is doing so in reverse gear.. There is the desperate stronghold on culture even though it is only limited to food, reprinting old novels and one ageing cricketer... Education institutes struggle to keep pace and trade is filled with uninspiring worker unions combined with an unsatiated hunger for industrialization..

As a child I remember frequenting live bangla theaters with revolving stage, based on intriguing stories and skilled dramatics.. have not heard of them for long.. and all that remains of the bangla cinema industry is poor copies of hindi movies..
Perhaps the only fresh thing that is happening are the music bands that are being created by the restless and rebel youth.. It is high time they sent the oldies in Writers' building to where they belong - Dakhineshwar..

After my dad's recent visit home when we had time to sit and chat about the political situation in West Bengal, I was curious to learn more about the Nandigram incident. Today after watching the news of violence in central Kolkata, I finally dug into the Nandigram articles.. two glaring lines made me write this blog: during the police operation to contain the resistance, the dumb public put "the women and children in the front to deter the police"!! and of course, the police promptly triggered away ".303 rifles that is known to pierce 7 people in a row"!! bhogobaan... whose side would one take! the senseless victims' or the choiceless attackers'..

Tagore can sing all he wants from his grave about 'bangla'ar maati bangla'ar jol..poorno hok'.... but as long as the 3 decade old govt. doesn't step down and give youngsters a chance, I don't see any reason for me to feel great for being a born Bangali..

Historical boo-boos...

School history books in Afghanistan vouch that Pakistan continues to be under British rule..

The Chief Minsiter of Jharkhand waxes eloquent that the first lady prime minister of India, who was assassinated, was called Sonia Gandhi..

Still on the RollerCoaster

Oct-17-2007
-- Sensex crashed to 17K thereabouts within a minute of trading! Market closed for an hour.. Reason being SEBI's announcement regd. controlling Participatory Notes. Closes above 18.5K
-- First day of Durga Puja - Shoshti. Bangla nostalgia pulls me big time this year, may not be able to answer the call.. Aashche bochhor..

Oct-16-2007
-- Sensex crossed 19K mark!
-- I am working from home - internet woes persist..

Oct-09-2007

-- Sensex crossed 18K mark!
-- Today Karnataka was without a state government.

Smoke in the eyes..

This is an account of my first visit to the ZTC Foods Division in Bangalore - which led me down a very interesting bend of thought... The office is situated in a very green and lavishly spread out campus. Most of the buildings in the campus are 1 - 2 story high - a welcome change from the multistory mammoths in ITPL or other Bangalore campuses. Right on entering the office, I could detect a very faint tobacco smell.. I just told myself that the sniffdog in me has just got an imagination too, it's thinking that since this is ZTC, there would be a tobacco stench..come on! it's just the foods division, i should be smelling more of chips, biscuits etc.. :)

As the day went by every whiff of the airconditioner brought in a sure smell of tobacco.. now i could not resist and asked my ZTC peer am i imagining?! he said most probably not - we are allowed to smoke anywhere inside the premises.. i couldn't believe my ears and asked 'anywhere'?! he casually said yes, no smoke-free zone in this building!! someone had expressed their disagreement of this policy in an email and he was made to apologise for this expression!!

That sent my alarms ringing in several directions.. would this affect TRG?! Should passion for one's profession/product be displayed in such mindless way?! Did the management of this organization get their degrees in 250BC?!

the first question was easily answered after i rang up my doc and he said it's fine for a short duration and as long as i get some fresh air now and then...

Passion for one's profession/product.... If I manufacture firearms, would I encourage shooting practice anywhere in my premises?!! If I print playboy magazines, would the strict dress-code in my office be a two-piece?! Is there no moral responsibility that ranks higher than the passion for your product/profession?!

250BC management in a 2000AD market! An employee had to apologise for expressing disagreement with the tobacco stench around him!! I hope the management of Waste Management company doesn't get inspired by the ZTC management.. ha ha!

Sep-19-2007

-- Sensex crossed 16K mark! My stock portfolio shows all green for the first time..

-- SAP announces Business by Design

India goes backward - thanks to SoniaDevi!

Year 2002: India's President - "Rocket Scientist"
Year 2007: India's (proposed) President - "College Queen"

Year 2002: Indian President's speech - "I have three visions for India..."
Year 2007: Indian (proposed) President's speech - "Daadiji ke shareer mein Baba aaye... "

Year 2002: Indian President wrote the book - India 2020
Year 2007: Indian (proposed) President will most possibly write: India 1010.

Soniaji JINDABAAD!

Long Term Goal

When I am 60, I will not be old, I will be a Classic.

Answers to Questions I will ask in future

Answer 1: No, you are not capable of living away from home any more.

Answer 2: Yes, there definitely exists someone called Lady Luck.

Answer 3: Yes, you can be weird, awkward, loud, tongue-tied, cheated, impractical, emotional, hard-boiled, looser, confused, lost.....
You are alive.

Our deepest fear..

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

--Marianne Williamson, quoted in Akeelah and the Bee

Today i waddled in an ocean of morons...

Went to follow up on my PAN card which was supposed to have come to me 2 months back.. After researching UTI's website, learnt that i was given a wrong coupon number, and UTI cannot search their database with my name and rest of the details (hunh?!)... in the pursuit to find the right coupon number i narrated my story to 10 different morons, reaching them through 20 different numbers.. i spent 4 hours in the Raheja towers - resolving ke 'aaj tho main pan number le ke hee rahoongee', spoke sweetly as well as toughly with faceless smarties whose only answers were "madam try this number" and "we will take 3 working days to find you which phone number to call"...i walked out of Raheja towers giving up on the whole deal... may be i will have to apply again, this time i will get right behind the counter to make sure the right coupon number is being given to me..

Just when I was cooling my paws on Raheja's ground floor.. the next barrage of morons were getting ready to treat me - in Standard Chartered, whose managers deserve to sweep the floors of ICICI in the hope to learn what service is...

Somewhere between the top floor and the ground floor of Raheja towers, i suddenly had my first serious attack of why-the-hell-did-we-leave-US syndrome..

Returned to office to find a center-wide email from the Center head with the subject "Brief Profile." Nothing before, nothing after! I could visualize my composition teacher getting right on top of the monitor and dancing on the email with savage fury... only after reading till the last para of the "brief" 5 para rant, i understood it was profile of some unknown guy leaving and another one replacing him... Flashback to last Center-wide performance meeting - one of our biggest liabilities cited by this very Center-head was Ineffective Communication!

The only thought that fills me with hope is that I may be getting my full quota of morons for the whole 2007 right today... BRING IT ON, mehearties..

(image source: http://www.maths.tcd.ie/)